Fat Babies R U

So there’s a lot going on these days about super-boomba babies.  Newborns are getting fatter and fatter, and some are getting even fatter than that.  Lawrence talks about his first two weeks of Paleo eating + one hour per day of walking, and Dan is still trying to deal with a lingering carb addiction.  Come for the jokes, stay for the info.

Links mentioned in episode.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obesity  (learn about BMI)

http://chriskresser.com/  (check out Chris’s Paleo Baby Code for baby feeding advice)

http://www.westonaprice.org/  (Weston A. Price foundation teaches health through traditional food preparation techniques)

*  Lawrence’s Life Stories of the week

Lawrence has a Nike step counter, but can’t remember where he got it.  Easter Bunny?

L now makes his own sweet potato chips fried in coconut oil so he can avoid the processed Cassava Chips he was buying.

He weighs in 294 lbs., down 8 lbs. since he started.

*  Dan’s Life Stories of the week

Smoothies were an issue this week for me.  I bought my first blender, and went on a bender.  I got used to having a smoothie called a Rip Torn at the Juice Box and Juice Land huts in Austin, and now make something close on my own (not including the peanut butter they use, though).  Blueberries, banana, whey protein, coconut milk, apple, cinnamon, vanilla. But I’m not good at controlling carbs, so I was moving up to at least one, sometimes two a day. And the coconut milk is not good on my digestion, ended up bloated like a cow on grains.  So worked this week to get those back out of my diet.  May have to get rid of the blender.

*  Quick Hitters Aug. 15-22

A new study says the most popular alcohol in ER visits is Budweiser.  That explains why I was waiting in line behind a clydesdale at St. David’s.  But my sprained ankle would have been a lot more fun if I had known — “A shot of Isopropyl and a Bud chaser,  please.”

The CDC says that in 13 states still have obesity rates over 30%.  First place was Louisiana, followed closely by Mississippi.  They’re neck and neck… and neck and neck and neck and neck.

A new study says that rather than motivating people to lose weight, shaming actually increases obesity.  Which explains why the Amish are so chubby.  Wait, that’s shunning.  Either way, don’t be a Hate Watcher.  The study didn’t show whether positive statements about being obese had the reverse effect, but executives at Weight Watchers are launching their 100 calorie “Congrats, Fatty” snack line anyway.

A new study says that rather than the 11% it was thought to be, the death toll from obesity as high as 30%.  Of course this theory will go unheeded, because when you use the word “toll” around obese people they think tollhouse cookie!

People who have sex 4 times or more per week make more money than those who don’t.  But they have to spend it on getting sex, so, it’s a wash.  Can we just go back to the old barter system, I fix the door, you give me sex?

China says it will phase out using executed prisoners organs for transplants, starting in November.  “Jim, you look great!”  “Thanks, I have the liver of a serial killer.” On the flipside they are phasing in harvesting the organs of live dissidents

The Department of Human and Health Services in Brooklin, Maine, threatened to take away a woman’s baby because she was feeding her goat milk.  In the department’s defense, she was getting the stuff by milking Keith Richards.  (He’s an old goat.)

Sanjay Gupta has changed his stance on marijuana, and says he now believes it has amazing uses for medical conditions.  Such as curing the amnesia that lets forget all the years you spent on CNN saying marijuana was bad.  In addition to helping the ill, he believes a pro-medical marijuana stance can make profitable a documentary of rehashed information that’s been available on the internet for a decade.  However medical marijuana user are sticking to their guns, that the name Gupta makes them giggle.

A new study says ⅓ of white girls still use tanning beds.  And that the other 2/3’s of white girls are Taylor Swift.  Very pale.  Why do white girls want to look “camel cigarette filter khaki”?

*  Main News Story:  Fat Babies

Today’s Big News is about Big Fat Babies. All over the world we’re starting to see these supersized babies being born, 13, 14, 15 lbs.  One baby even got drafted by the Raiders in the womb.  Big, chubbed up, over-porked little porklings.  And before we get a call from the NAABFB’s (National Association of Big Fat Babies), let me say they approved the term “porklings.”  Much better than the old terms, beerbies, womb cows, or human shar peis.

So far this summer, a German girl weighed in at nearly 13.5 lbs (they named her Der Kommisar.  A California woman had a  13 lb., 10 oz, girl (Mom’s do not wish they could all be CA girls).  A  woman in Spain had a 13 lb., 11 oz girl (delivered by a matador).  And check this, in March, a British mom gave natural birth to 15 lb., 7 oz son (which reminds me, all babies look like Winston Churchill).

Overall, there’s been a 15 percent to 25 percent increase in babies weighing 8 pounds, 13 ounces or more (or 4,000 grams, the weight where a baby is considered oversized).

So, Babies R Fat. What’s the big deal?  Throw a nipple on a gallon jug of 2%, everything’s fine.

Actually, whopper newborns are a real issue, both for the Mom and the little chubbo. There’s gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia and eclampsia, and starvation because your baby beats you and your husband to the food when she’s born.  Overweight babies are much more likely to be obese later on, and are at risk for shoulder dystocia – which means that the shoulders have grown so big that they can get stuck under the mom’s pubic bone during delivery.

So, it’s an issue, for Mom’s and for kid’s health.  Check out the links for more info.

TOP SIGNS YOUR BABY IS TOO BIG

His diapers are made by Windjammer. (Christo)

Wears a twosie.

A stranger tells you that your baby has “nice boobs.”

Drinks breast milk from a stein.

You have to make his baby Bjorn from a trampoline.

Sides of his crib bulge.

Gets mistaken for a VW Beetle.

Can’t play head, shoulders, knees and toes because has never seen his knees or toes.

Loves that lullabye that begins, “Your baloney has a first name…”

Can burp the words to “The Itsy Bitsy Spider.”

Has playdates with ham.

First word is “Pepto.”

Have to burp him with a boat oar.

Pacifier is made from bratwurst.

Stork sues you for hernia operation.

His mobile is corn dogs and moon pies.

You call him your “little F-250.”

He makes Winnie the Pooh look ripped.

He sumo wrestles your pet pot-bellied pig.

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